


Two Broken Hearts

by Treekianthia



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Gen, Light Angst, Lost Love, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22977109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treekianthia/pseuds/Treekianthia
Summary: After the capture of Enbarr, Mercedes finds herself unable to sleep. Hoping to find some sort of comfort, she goes to the cathedral, where she finds Ferdinand praying. There seems to be a lot on his mind, and she takes the opportunity to talk with him about it.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Mercedes von Martritz, Ferdinand von Aegir & Mercedes von Martritz, Ferdinand von Aegir/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Two Broken Hearts

Mercedes found Ferdinand alone in the cathedral.

It was late, and most soldiers in the Alliance army had gone to bed. Those still awake were either on night patrol or offering late night prayers, but they were few and far between. It was not often you ran into somebody while out at such a late hour.

It was proving to be a quiet night, as many nights at the monastery were. Mercedes was restless and unable to sleep, so she decided to offer up some late night prayers. It was something she often did when she couldn’t sleep, and it helped ease her mind until she was tired. Still in her nightgown, she threw on a cloak and headed to the cathedral. It was chilly, but nothing compared to the cold winters of Faerghus.

When she entered the cathedral, Ferdinand was down on one knee. He was still in full armor, with his hair pulled back into a messy bun. She approached slowly, not wanting to startle him, and stood next to him before clasping her own hands in prayer. He didn’t seem to notice her, however, and continued to pray. They stood in silence, unmoving, until finally Ferdinand was done.

“Mercedes? How long have you been here?” Ferdinand asked in surprise. Mercedes looked over at him and smiled before putting her hands down.

“Only a little while,” she answered “I didn’t want to disturb you, so I didn’t say anything.”

“I thank you for not disturbing me, but what are you doing here? Surely somebody such as yourself should be asleep right now. Look, you’re even in your nightgown!” he pointed out. Mercedes, however, shook her head and gave him a gentle smile.

“I’m offering my prayers to the goddess, of course,” she told him. He looked at her with a puzzled expression, unsure what to make of her response.

“Is it not something that could have waited until morning? Surely it’s unsafe for a woman such as yourself to wander around in nothing but nightwear,” he said. Mercedes continued to smile and turned her attention to what remained of the cathedral’s altar.

“You’re here too, aren’t you? That should be enough proof that some things can’t wait until morning,” she replied. She knew deep inside her heart that her prayers couldn’t wait, and she was sure Ferdinand knew that as well.

“Ah, I guess you’re right,” he agreed. “Forgive me if I came off as a bit rude. There’s just a lot I’m trying to process right now.”

Mercedes turned her attention back to the younger man. “Would you like to talk about it?” she asked him. She thought perhaps whatever was on his mind was why he had come to pray, and talking about it would help ease his worries.

Ferdinand darted his gaze away. “Ah, I’m not sure if I should…” he admitted. “It’s a bit complicated…”

“There’s no such thing as too complicated when it comes to prayers to the goddess,” Mercedes tried to convince the knight. Letting out a sigh, Ferdinand placed a hand over his heart.

“I’m just so unsure of what to do. I fear both you and the goddess will judge me for what I have to say,” he admitted. “There’s just so much to it.”

Mercedes placed a hand on her chest. “It might actually make you feel better to tell me though,” she continued, “And I promise not to tell anyone.”

Ferdinand sighed again. “...do you truly promise not to tell anyone?” he asked. Mercedes nodded her head and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Of course, Ferdinand. You’re free to tell me anything without worry,” she told him. Looking back at the altar, Ferdinand took a deep breath. He was frowning.

“....do you ever regret joining the Alliance army, Mercedes?” he continued to ask. It was a loaded question, and not one Mercedes had considered before. She placed a finger on her chin and thought about it.

She had lost many friends to the war, including former classmates of her original house. It had been difficult, but for the sake of the Alliance she had to move on. Not a day went by where she didn’t pray for the fallen, and she pushed forward so they could rest easy. She knew in war it was either them or her, and as much as it hurt, she had to preserve her own life. It was all for the sake of one day bringing peace to Fódlan.

Those of the Alliance had also won the war against the Empire, and though there was still work to be done, things would come to an end soon. She was proud to have played a role in it, even with all she had done. Regretting her choice also meant regretting her part in the war.

“No, I don’t,” she ultimately answered. Ferdinand looked down at his feet.

“I see… I should have expected as much, and I should not be surprised I am alone in my position,” Ferdinand responded. Placing her other hand on her chest, Mercedes frowned.

“You have regrets?” she asked. She had noticed Ferdinand grow more and more distant with each battle, but she had never considered he’d regret siding with his former classmates. Though they were both unique in having changed classes early in their schooling, the Golden Deer was where they had come to belong. 

“As I said, it’s complicated,” Ferdinand once again stated. “I do not regret bringing the end to the war, but…”

He trailed off and started to stare at the altar with sorrow in his eyes. He looked like he was going to start crying at any moment, and Mercedes wondered what was going through his mind. Something had severely upset him.

“Ferdinand, I’m here for you…” Mercedes said as she placed a hand on Ferdinand’s shoulder. “You can tell me…”

“There is so much going on in my head right now that I’m not sure where to begin,” he admitted. “I just… I just...

“Ferdinand….”

The young man collapsed onto his knees, and immediately began to sob. Kneeling down next to him, Mercedes held him to comfort him. She began to hum.

“I-I just…” Ferdinand managed to stutter out. He was having a hard time speaking and becoming overwhelmed by his own emotions. Mercedes patted his back.

“Take a deep breath, Ferdinand,” she instructed. The young man listened, inhaling deeply and trying his best to relax. He was shaking.

“I-it’s not fair, Mercedes… I should have been able to save her…” he said through sobs. He held onto Mercedes tightly, letting his tears flow without resistance. It was almost as if he was a child crying to his mother.

“There, there, Ferdinand. Let it all out…” she comforted with a quiet voice. It did not take any time for her to figure out who the “her” Ferdinand spoke of was, and why he was so upset.

Edelgard von Hresvelg, the Emperor of the Adrestian Empire… She had fallen in the Alliance’s last battle, bringing the violent war to its end. It had been a tough and bloody battle, but the Alliance army managed to push through. Though the Emperor fought until the bitter end, it had not been enough. She was ultimately brought to her knees and slain by their former professor.

Ferdinand hadn’t been there to witness it, as he had been fighting off enemy reinforcements. When their former professor revealed what had happened, however, Ferdinand froze up before collapsing. He had to be taken to a medical tent to be healed before he could get up again.

“I sh-should have been there for her… I should have stayed by her side!” Ferdinand cried out. “Even if I died… Maybe… Maybe then, she’d still be alive…”

Mercedes kept the young man close. “You loved her, didn’t you?” she asked. She could tell by how upset he was that his feelings for Edelgard were strong. It must have taken a lot of willpower for him to side against her.

“W-with all my heart…” he admitted. He sounded like he was in pain, and Mercedes assumed he was. Broken hearts could be just as painful as any wounds received in the war.

It was something that Mercedes knew well.

Though she did not regret siding with the Alliance in the war, there was still one thing she felt guilty over. The Kingdom’s Prince Dimitri… He had fallen at the battle of Gronder Field, pierced by empire soldiers. She had been unlucky enough to see him as he fell.

The cry of agony she let out was loud enough to bring attention to herself. The enemy soldiers went after her next, and she was only able to make it out unscathed thanks to Hilda coming to her aid. Mercedes remembered reaching out to Dimitri’s lifeless body as Hilda tried to pull her back, and how she begged Hilda to let her go. The younger woman didn’t listen, however, and took Mercedes back to safety. Mercedes was unable to fight properly for the rest of the battle.

“You’re not alone, Ferdinand… I too lost somebody precious to me,” she admitted as the memories came flooding back. She tried to hold back her tears, but it was proving to be too difficult.

“H-huh?” Ferdinand questioned. He looked up at Mercedes, who was smiling despite her tears. She nodded her head.

“He was a kind young man that I met here at the academy,” she began to explain. “I taught him how to sew, and he taught me swordplay.”

Ferdinand looked back down. “I s-see… It must have hurt to lose him….”

Mercedes’ gaze fell, feelings of sorrow washing over her. “I actually lost him twice…” she revealed. “I thought he was dead for so long, only for him to turn up alive. It was short lived, however, and he soon perished for real...”

“Prince Dimitri…” Ferdinand muttered under his breath. “I’m so sorry…”

Mercedes took a deep breath. “I often found him praying here back when we were in school, and would even join him from time to time. I don’t think he saw me as anything other than a big sister, but my feelings for him were different,” she continued. It hurt her heart to recall such things, but brought her comfort as well.

“Do you ever think you could have saved him…?” Ferdinand asked. Mercedes shook her head.

“Sometimes I do wonder if I could have, but even if I had, he would no longer have been the Dimitri I remembered,” she revealed. The Dimitri she saw that day was not the Dimitri she cared for, but one twisted by war. He was too far gone to be saved.

Ferdinand sniffled. “Perhaps in a better world,or another time, we could’ve been with the ones we love…” he said. “No war, no pain, and only each other…”

Mercedes sighed. “I hope somewhere, somehow, that world exists…” she responded. As small as a chance as it was, perhaps there was another world that lived in peace. One that was watched over by the goddess just like this one.

“Thank you for listening, Mercedes…” Ferdinand replied as he left her embrace. “It’s nice to know there’s somebody who feels the same pain I do…”

Mercedes gave Ferdinand a gentle smile. “The two of us will get through this war together, and once it’s over, we’ll honor our lost loved ones any way we can.”

Ferdinand nodded in agreement. “I’d like that,” he mentioned. Wiping her tears, Mercedes turned her attention back to the altar.

“Would you like to offer one last prayer to them tonight?” she asked. “That way, they can find peace in the afterlife.”

Ferdinand nodded again. “Yes, I think that would be good…”

Both of them on their knees, Mercedes and Ferdinand prayed to the Goddess. They prayed that Dimitri and Edelgard would find peace, and that their deaths would not be in vain. They also prayed for safety in the final battle, which quickly approached. If they did fall, they wished to be united with their lost loves. If they survived, they wished to be able to honor them in a peaceful world.

Yet most importantly, they prayed to mend their own broken hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that hit me after finishing chapter 20 of my Golden Deer run. I'm a Blue Lions gal, so I normally don't write fics that take place on the Golden Deer Route, but this was a fic that specifically required to do so... And funnily enough, doesn't include any Golden Deer students.
> 
> I actually didn't take Ferdinand with me on this run, so I don't know what Ferdinand actually says after chapter 20, but I did take Mercedes, so I referenced what she tells Byleth after chapter 17. I did, however, half to kill Ferdie three times on his map. Two times because of bad placement, and the third time to get specific quotes.
> 
> Anyway, that's really it for this one. It's not too long but longer than the 1k fics I've been doing for fun. Maybe this is a sign I'll start writing longer fics again soon?


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